I often hear from wives who feel very insecure and jealous after their husband's affair. This jealousy is not necessarily limited to other women in the matter. Much to her surprise, she found herself jealous of many people, even though she wasn't jealous or jealous. This may be because his perception of himself (and the world around him) has been shaken by the conflict.
She might say, "I'm not jealous of her character, but since my husband had a difficult relationship six months ago, I find my jealous and jealous side is out. Unfortunately for me, other women are everything I am not. is high maintenance and well organized, she wears styling and is friendly with botox, I'm a very casual person wearing minimal clothing. foundation if I just went to the grocery store, I have family and jobs, so I try to look good, but I have other things to worry about. try on better clothes, but I feel a bit silly and I would be uncomfortable if I did was at a grocery store and I saw a beautiful woman, so I immediately felt that her life was better than mine and I was wondering if she was the kind of woman my husband would go if she were deceived again. I also find myself jealous of women who have no children or who do not put their children first. I'm ashamed to admit this, but I do sometimes feel like staying home with my children and putting my children first has made me less attractive to my husband and less attractive in general. I'm jealous of a career woman who can't do anything but enjoy weekends or have a spa day. I won't think of it either. Lately, I've been jealous of someone who wasn't me. I feel like a big loser and unattractive at times. "
I can fully identify with what you are saying. I went through a similar set of feelings. I will share some things that ultimately help me over time. Immediately after my husband's relationship, I really felt terrible. I became very critical of myself and I had some similar feelings about the fact that I was focusing on my mother. One day I was talking to a friend of mine who had no children and I confessed how jealous I was. Then he admitted that he was jealous of me because he could see how much I loved my children and the silent verse. She said she was jealous that for the rest of my life, I would have two other people in the world whom I loved more than life itself. It will come true no matter what happens to my marriage or to other areas of my life. My friend says that no one can take my mother away from me, or my love for (and from) my children. I can't argue with this. Then my friend insisted that I underestimate my appearance. She says for sure, I don't always do much, but I have a natural beauty that doesn't require heavy use of cosmetics to enhance it. I appreciate this, but don't always believe it.
Then, a few weeks later, something very sad happened. For about 20 years, I had this very competitive relationship with a friend from high school, who then went to the same college as I did. This woman is so successful and talented. We often compete for internships, jobs, and so on. He almost always beat me. He never had kids and traveled the world, which is something I wanted to do, but knew I might not have the opportunity to remember my duty. However, we do have a love / hate relationship. My admiration for her made me see what I didn't have. I spent a lot of time envious and thought he had it all - until he got sick. What I'm trying to do is that you never know what your life will bring you. The people at the grocery store you think have all the potential to have a sick parent at home. Or they can go home empty and watch TV only. Things aren't always as they appear. Someone might always look better than you. But then, someone will always be worse than you.
I learned to start appreciating what I have. Sure, I have some wrinkles. But I'm healthy. Yes, I have prioritized my kids and made some sacrifices with it, but isn't it really worth anything? At the same time, I made some changes that increased my confidence level. I change my hair, strengthen my teeth, and add to my wardrobe. I allow myself to care about myself and spend some time (and maintenance expense) just for myself. I decided that a happier mother would mean a happier child. At the same time, I'm very careful to make sure that I'm not just chasing ideas about how I think I should look. I focus on what I like and not on what I think my husband wants. I also took some classes and ended up pursuing my own job. That way, if my marriage can't last, I'm sure I'll be fine.
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